You made me cry and you don't even care
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize