Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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