can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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