My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
