This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
