Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize