O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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