If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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