How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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