I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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