Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
