I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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