singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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