Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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