used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
