I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
