Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize