Well douche your snatch and let's go!
My first STD was from a foam party
I look better un-naked...
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
