Will you blow on my dice?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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