Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
