his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
