he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
