you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
