so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
