are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize