you have to choose: penises or morals?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
This beer is not sobering me up at all
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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