So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
