I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
