What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
