He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize