Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
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