I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
