Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
