Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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