My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
