You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
