Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I checked into jail on foursquare
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
If its not for food we ain't going out.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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