i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Randomize
