We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
