You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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