But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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