Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
We need to rekindle our bromance
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We left the knife in your bed.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
