It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
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