I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
