I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
do nipples grow back?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
