We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I see more hoeing in ur future
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