we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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