let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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