i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
worst night to have a conscience
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
