I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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