She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
