it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
