We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
