Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
