margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
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