I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
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Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
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I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize