You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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