Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
