y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
