Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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