p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
