remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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