Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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