My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
