This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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