Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize